Our Past, Our Present
by AmiraHellion
Summary: So I haven't watched all of this anime, but I've always been frustrated that Luka and Yuki never seem to DO anything, if you get me. So here's my attempt at furthering their relationship as it should be! :) (at least in my mind) mwahahaha! Reviews would also be much appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

Crying out for _something_, no _someone_. But who?

Luka.

I shivered. That was the someone I was crying out for. The person I was reaching out towards. But he was so far away. My heart ached, beating painfully fast. Luka was just out of my reach, why couldn't I touch him?

Want Luka.

Finally, feeling his arms wrap around me. No, not me. The past me. The past Yuki. I-no **she**- had his silver eyes gazing at her with gentliness. **She** had his voice whispering softly in her ear. **She** had him.

I felt my self scream out, _He's Mine_!

**She** merely smiles at me, _Then why doesn't he hold you this way?_ Its a pitying smile and it sends anguish through me with such force that I feel like I'm falling into darkness.

"Yuki!?" I sit up, nearly head-butting Luka in the process, "Yuki...?"

I'm crying, my heart still hurting with the dream's pain. "I'm okay..." Why was I dreaming that? Why did it hurt so much?

"Bad dreams?" Luka inquires, his deep voice is always so strangely comforting. He softly puts his hand to my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin, sending an extra degree of relaxation through me.

"Yeah..." I want to lean into his hand so much that I can't stop myself, I can't hold back as I normally do.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks, shifting closer, putting his other hand on my hands that are clasped on my lap.

"No...its really nothing." I plaster on a smile, forcing myself to believe it is nothing, nothing more than a dream, even though it brings me such real pain.

"Alright." He responds, his silver eyes still observing me. I'm always striken by how focused his eyes are, how carefully they watch me. As if he's looking at his beloved. WAIT! No, I don't even have the right to think that!

I force myself to look away from him, stare at his hand that is still resting soothingly on mine. The desire to turn my hands over, feeling his hand palm-to-palm with my own is shocking. Luka isn't- I have to remind myself again. I don't have the right to think that. Luka is bound to me, he is only serving me as he promised in a past life. I wish he would tell me what was our story in that past, so I could figure out why I'm dreaming of **Her** and him, and why **she** pities me-herself in those dreams? Is past Yuki trying to tell me something, are my old memories trying to tell me something? I just don't get it, this much confusion and pain hurt more than anything I've faced before.

"Yuki, why are weeping still? I'm here, there's nothing you need to worry about." Luka's voice catches me off-gaurd, both of his hands cupping my face, turning my chin up, as he looks into my eyes. "Be at ease Yuki, I won't let anything hurt you." It's as if he's said those words a million times, and he has followed them up every single time. This man, this demon, would never let something hurt me. Even the dream seems powerless against him.

I feel my breath hitch as I try to smile again, "Thank you Luka." I grab his hands off of my face, peeling them away despite the protest of my skin.

"Goodnight...Yuki..." Luka rises with his unhuman grace, pulling my covers up and tucking them back under my chin, "I'll be near, if you should need me again."

"Thank you. Goodnight Luka." I murmur, watching him leave the room.

God, why am I yearning so badly for him?! We're both men! And its not like I even like I know him very well, I don't even know **our** past.

_You know him. _Am I dreaming again? **She's** back. _You know him better than you know yourself._


	2. Chapter 2

"I just don't know why I'm having such horrible dreams, Toko-chan..." I didn't know why I needed to talk to someone about it, but I just had to, "I wake up crying, and I don't know why."

"What are you dreaming about, Yuki-chan?" Toko inquired with a cock of her head.

I hesitated to tell her that it was _always_ with Luka. Sometimes they were the dreams like last night where he and my past self embraced, and **She** looked at me with a sad smile. Sometimes they were filled with frightening demons ripping me apart, though Luka always came to my rescue. And most obsurd, the dreams where Luka held me intimately, our bare flesh feeling marvelous and sensuous, and yet, I knew it wasn't right.

"My past self, she's there a lot..." I murmured in answer.

"Its probably your memories! We fought so many battles in our past life, you got hurt a lot..." Toko frowned, leaning closer to me on the couch, brushing my hair lightly with her fingertips, "I'm sorry. You're too kind for your own good." She smiled softly, teasingly, "So what happens in the dreams? Are you her or are you talking to her or...?"

"Sometimes she talks to me, sometimes I'm just watching her..." With Luka and feeling unwarranted jealously strangle me.

"What does she tell you?" Toko asked.

"Just trusting myself, something about taking in my pains and pleasures equally, I don't understand." I sighed, "But I strangely feel better since talking about it." It was true, something about talking to Toko made me feel better.

"Well that's what friends are for, Yuki-chan!" She grinned, hugging me.

Her smile slowly dropped as she stared at me momentarily. "What?"

"Just...have you told Luka about your bad dreams? He's pretty err...knowledgable...about uhh...your past, and the you of the past..." She spoke.

"He's the one who wakes me up when I'm crying...so he knows about it." I answered, almost dodging the question. I don't think I could ever tell him, especially when they were dreams all ABOUT him. Especially _especially_ those intimate dreams, those wonderful dreams, those **wrong** dreams, I had to remind myself. All along trying to stop myself from shivering as I thought about those dreams.

"Yuki-chan..." She pursed her lips.

"Thanks for talking to me, Toko-chan, I feel better now though." I smiled.

The door knob wiggled and we both turned to look at it, finding Tsukumo entering the room, arms filled with snacks as usual.

"Hello Toko-chan, Yuki-chan." Tsukumo greeted with a smile.

"Hi Tsukumo-kun." We both responded, mirroring his smile. He offered his snacks as he sat on the couch beside Toko. We both took a pocky stick, sucking on them.

"I guess I'm going to go find Luka...thanks for the chat Toko-chan, and for the snacks Tsukumo-kun." I said, rising from the couch, wondering where to start in my search.

"He's out in the garden, hiding from Isuzu it seems." Tsukumo told me.

"Thank you." I nodded to him, making my way through Twilight Mansion, seeking out, and finding Luka in the garden.

"Yuki." He called gently the moment he saw me, his flat expression giving way to a soft smirk that seemed to be reserved for me. Oh how it made my heart ache. I felt the dreams playing in my head, the one where **She **ran into his arms, scooped up into his protection. I wanted to be able to do that. There was no denying that I wanted to be able to do whatever **She** had been able to do with him. It was so wrong, unfair to Luka, painful for me. We were both men, he was surely not interested in me that way either. "Yuki, what's wrong?" I almost stumbled when Luka appeared right in front of me.

I choked on my words. He was so stunning. I supposed that all Opasts were beautiful, but still Luka seemed in a class all his own.

"Yuki?" He softly stroked my cheek, his eyes imploring.

"It-its nothing." He bore so many burdens for me already: binding himself, protecting, being marked as a traitor to his own kind...all for me. I wouldn't lay this burden of simple nightmares on him too, "Really, nothing."


	3. Chapter 3

I felt myself cry out, again. Another night. Another dream. More pain, more pleasure. More confusion!

_Stop being confused, find yourself, Yuki. _**She** was back again too.

_Find what?!_ I couldn't believe I was practically growling with frustration. Even if this was just a dream, I really wouldn't act this way.

There was that smile that I was begining to recognize as pity. _Yourself. Your desires. Your memories, Yuki. What do you feel? _

_Feel? Feel about what?_

**She** shook her head, _Luka. _and the darkness took me.

Luka's silver eyes gazed into mine, I wasn't sure if this was still a dream or not. It was. Otherwise, if it were real, I'd be able to stop myself from throwing myself into his arms. And I'd not be melting so foolishly against him like he was truly mine.

Mine. The word ripped through me. Was that what I-? I gasped, probably even gasping in real life. How could I?! I wanted to actually...monopolize...Luka... I wanted to have him in every way, wanted to selfishly hold him to me and me alone. Oh gosh.

_Very good. _She smiled brightly at me, for once there was no sadness. _You finally realized it, Yuki._ I buried my face into dream Luka's shoulder, avoiding looking at her, **she** knew too much about what I was feeling.

What was I going to do? There was no way I could hold Luka selfishly, but...No. No buts. Luka was not mine to have.

Tears streamed down my face, hitting the dream Luka's jacket. "What's wrong, my love?" He took my chin with the utmost gentliness, making me look up at him, meet those silver eyes that made my heart pound unbearly. It was just a dream, I wasn't truly his love. "Yuki, wake up. Its time to wake, my love." ...wake up? "Yuki." I was slowly coming to consciousness. What of what I had just heard was real? And what was just the dream?

"Ah?" I asked blankly, opening my blurry eyes.

"You're crying again...I hate to see you this way." Luka answered softly, brushing his fingers against my cheek.

"I'm okay." The lie came out easily, it was shocking how good I was getting at that.

"No, Yuki, its not okay when you cry." He responded. My heart whipped into a frenzy, telling me to wrap my arms around him, accept his comforts. But I couldn't, I just couldn't, and that made me cry more. "Yuki." The alarm was evident in his voice.

"I'm okay. It's just the dream..." I whimpered between sobs, "I can't stop." Geeze, and right when I said that I didn't want to burden Luka more.

Luka scooped me up into his lap, resting his chin atop my head, "Ssh, it'll be okay Yuki."

I never wanted to be the pessimist, but no, it wasn't okay. It wasn't okay when all I wanted was to claim Luka as mine, but I wasn't allowed to have him. It was like being punished. Punished for some unknown crime.


	4. Chapter 4

The food on the plate before me blurred slightly, and I felt myself falling forward.

"Yuki!" Everyone said, alarmed. Luka catching me before I planted my face right into my meal.

"Is he okay?" I heard Hotsuma inquire.

"What's wrong with him?" That was Shusei's voice. God, I was so tired. So many nights of waking up in confusion and fear, sometimes unable to sleep for hours after that, was really starting to eat at me.

"He hasn't been sleeping well." Toko said softly as Luka scooped me up out of the chair.

"Should I take a look at him?" Isuzu asked. I opened my eyes to see Luka's eyes narrowed at probably Isuzu's direction.

"He just needs sleep." Luka stated, glancing down at me, "Yuki?" It was the tiniest change of expression, but on Luka's face it was a shout. The slight raise of his eyebrows, his way of asking what I wanted. Maybe it was just because I spent so much time staring at his face these days, but he seemed much more expressive than when I first met him.

"Yeah...I would just like to lie down for awhile." I answered softly, sliding my legs, getting ready to reach for the floor with my toe. Luka readjusted his arm, making me tilt back into his body. And without a word, he carried me out of the room. "I can walk, Luka..." He carried me up the stairs, not answering, though I knew he heard me. I let out a sigh, relaxing in his hold.

Luka laid me in my bed, softly touching my cheek, staring at me, "Shall I stay here with you, Yuki?" It was the softest and sweetest inquiry he could have ever made at the moment. But could I selfishly accept it? Accept his kindness when I knew what I was feeling inside?

Just once, just this once. Please let me have this one moment. "Please stay." I answered with a nod of my head. His eyes softened, as he moved to sit in the chair by the bed. "No." The word escaped before I could stop it.

"Yuki?"

"Not there, here. Here, with me." I heard the whine in my voice, and hated that part of myself, but I really needed this one chance of selfishness. Luka gave me what I asked for, instantly, without hesitation; sitting on the edge of the bed. I grabbed his wrist, pulling him closer, making him turn nearly 180 degrees, practically leaning over me. His eyes widened, I knew I'd never done this to him, I shouldn't be doing it, but... "Here, Luka, please, just once."

"Anything you ask of me, Yuki." He laid himself out next to me, sliding one arm under my pillow so I rolled into him, and putting the other arm around my back, holding me safely next to him. I put my face into his chest, closing my eyes, and letting out a sigh of rightness; why did it feel so right?! "Once, twice, or a million times." He added, his voice rumbling in his chest.

I wrapped one of my arms around him, tucking my other arm under me, and pressing myself as close as I could possibly get to him.

This feeling. This smell. This relief from his nearness. It all felt so right to me. Had he held me like this in the past? But why would I forget that? And why wouldn't he tell me if that were it? Questions piled up as my eyes got heavy, the shadows of sleep pulling me to unconciousness. Just why. Why was all of this happening so suddenly?

_It's not sudden. You've dreamed these things since the beginning, Yuki. Remember! REMEMBER. _


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: ^-^ Just before I begin! A special shout-out to 'floating fog' for being an awesome follower who is nice enough to leave me lotsa reviews! It makes me very very happy! :) Anyways, ze chapter...!

"I feel like I'm being punished!" Did I actually just raise my voice?

"Punished?" Confusion did not fit Luka's handsome face.

I had to stop. I had to stop myself. But...I couldn't, it was like flood gates had just been thrown open. Come one emotion, come all emotions. Especially the painful mix of anger and fear. "The bad dreams. The fact that I can't remember anything. ...The fact that I can't even figure out why I can't get you out of my heart."

"Yuki?" I pulled away before he could cup my face as he usually did. His eyes widened.

"Please Luka, talk to me. I'm begging you, tell me about our past. What were we to each other in my past life?" I was probably going to break down sobbing whether he told me or not, but it'd be decisively worse if he didn't tell me.

"It was your wish to forget it, Yuki. I don't want to hurt you by telling you something that you wanted to forget." Luka offered, reaching out to touch me, but he froze, hesitating like he never had before.

"I want to know now. Luka, don't punish me anymore than I already feel I am...please." I grabbed the hand that he'd outstretched.

His fingers were stiff, but slowly they closed over mine, "We were lovers." His silver eyes met mine.

"Lovers?" I repeated numbly.

"Yuki, you don't have to let that past bind you..."

A sob from deep inside bubbled up and choked me. "Thank you for telling me." I forced myself to turn, running back towards my room. I guess it was a good choice on my part to catch Luka in the hallway, easy escape when I finally got the truth.

Luka caught my arm, just inside my bedroom door, "Yuki. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's not you. It's me. I am being punished." I said pathetically, crying so hard that I could barely breathe, "What did I do to deserve this?"

"Yuki, you are God's Light, you are pure, He would never punish you." Luka answered, ever the perfect gentleman. "Why do you think you are being punished? Why do you hurt so much?"

"I'm put in this body, Luka. I can't have you in this body." Was the whine that came out. He stared at me, confused still. "I love you, whether it's because we were lovers before or not, I love you, and I want you. But I can't have you because I'm a boy, and you wouldn't want me as a boy." It hurt twice as much to actually admit that fact aloud.

What he did next surprised me. His grip on my hand tightened, just short of painful, and he pulled me into his body, embracing me warmly, "I will say it as many times as need be. Yuki, I love you, I serve you, whatever you make of me, I shall be. Your form, your gender, anything but the fact that it is actually you, is irrelevant to me; I will love you as long as you are Yuki." He leaned down to me, taking my lips so tenderly; the dream-Luka's kisses were nowhere as wonderful as this kiss. "If you desire me, that is the most I could ever want."

I stroked his hair back, staring at him. My heart ached."Luka...you really don't care that I'm..." I gestured to my obviously male body.

His soft smile brightened his face, "Not at all, Yuki." He kissed me again; it seemed to be all the more gentle because I knew how strong he was. "You are you, whatever form you take, I will desire that body because it's you." He kissed me again, nipping my bottom lip lightly, "I could prove it to you."

"Huh?" I asked, almost dazedly. His kisses were so...amazing.

"I have no qualms about proving to you that I desire every bit of you, body included." He answered, running his hand up my back. I let out a soft whimper of pleasure, pressing my body against his. "I won't, if you don't wish it though." His hand slid up my shirt slightly, lingering against my lower back. Were his hands always this hot? Was it me? "Yuki?"

"Wh-what are you going to do?" I inquired, my previous pain had completely disappeared, replaced by a weightlessness that felt not only foreign, but lovely...

"Well..." His smile now winked lightly with sinful intent as he manuevered me back towards the bed, "I suppose I'd start by kissing every inch of skin on your body..." He answered, his deep voice making me shiver as it reverberated in my ears. I felt my knees weaken, falling back on the bed. Wow. My heart was fluttering insanely. "Shall I, Yuki?" I nodded, staring up at him. He leaned down, taking my lips. I let out a gasp when his teeth softly nipped my bottom lip, and felt heat ripple through my body as his tongue pushed inside my mouth. I gripped the front of his shirt, starting to squirm, as his kiss sent the strangest feelings through me; pleasure and delirium, very strange.

Luka took my chin, turning my head to the side, kissing down my cheek, across my jawline, and then my ear. I let out a soft murmur of bliss, feeling my body getting hard. His tongue snaked across the crest of my ear, his mouth giving a delicate suck on my earlobe. "Luka..." I whispered, tilting my head back as he kissed my throat, easily undoing my shirt as his lips travelled across my collarbones, "Ahn?!" Hot, so hot, his mouth was around my nipple! Giving my sensitive flesh strokes with his tongue, teasing with his teeth as he sucked it into the heat of his mouth. I grabbed his hair, tugging on the velvet strands as he moved to my other nipple, and then down my torso.

"Yuki?" He asked, his hands on the waistband of my pants. Still asking for permission at this point, god that made my heart ache!

I nodded, pushing my hips up into his hands. He smiled, slowly easing me out of my clothes, his hands carressing every inch of my bare skin as if he was etching it into his memory. Then he moved with his lips, kissing where his hands had just touched; well he definitely fulfilled that promise from earlier. I jolted when he paid special attention to my hip bones, sucking that skin, fire screaming through my veins.

"You're still sensitive here." Luka said, his voice light, nearly humorous, as he continued the onslaught of pleasure against my body. I cried out as he finally took my length in hand, giving it a single stroke before orgasm overtook me.

"S-sorry..." I said blearily.

"It's fine, Yuki." Luka leaned over and kissed me on the lips, "I have all the time in the world to make you feel this way."

"B-but you haven't." I reached down, gently cupping him. I could feel the heat and hardness even through his pants.

Luka froze, staring down at me, "Its alright, Yuki. I can wait." He kissed me again, whispering into the side of my neck, "I will wait, until you're ready."

I reached around him, hugging him with all my might, "What if I don't want you to wait?"

"Then I won't wait if you don't wish it." His hand pushed up on my back, as he ran his mouth back down my front.

I already knew from deep inside my soul, that Luka would take all night making sure he wouldn't hurt me. While I was writhing, unable to control myself, his gentleness and patience never faltered. God, I loved him. I loved him. And it was no wonder I loved him. This was right. This all felt so right, it was hard to deny that this wasn't right for me...for us...in our past or our present- we belonged together.

The end!

Author's note: Well that was lotsa fun for me! Everyone knows Luka and Yuki belong together! Its about time they got together! :) Anyways, thanks for reading! Hope you readers enjoyed it! :D


	6. Luka's POV

My beautiful Yuki. Even if her form had changed, it was still Yuki. My Yuki with a pure heart, kind soul, and eyes that always saw the good in others. Even in this new male form, he was beyond gorgeous. And he still desired me. My heart was fulfilled.

I could only wonder now, if he hadn't turned male to discourage me, then why? I came to the conclusion that instead of it being a punishment for Yuki, it was actually a test for me. I had yet to figure out what it was a test over, but I suppose I had passed it; I couldn't possibly have failed since Yuki was mine again.

"You look like you're deep in thought again, Luka." Yuki said with a soft smile, instantly grabbing my attention.

"I'm thinking about you." I answered, carressing his cheek with the upmost care. He blushed, averting his eyes shyly from me. How adorable. I caught his hand, kissing his knuckles, "You're beautiful, Yuki." I meant it in every way; his soul, his heart, his body...

It pleased me to see a geniune smile grace his face as his eyes met mine, "Thank you, Luka." He cupped my cheek, giving me a feather-light kiss to the lips, "I really love you." My entire body felt weightless with his words, they were magical to my ears.

"I will _always_ love you." I replied, setting my forehead to his and staring into his golden eyes with their darker warm tones. We shared a comfortable silence and understanding, soon having to break from the moment as we were called to dinner.

Dinner, the only consistent thing in Twilight Mansion these days, was something that I really wondered about. Why would you want to sit around a table and eat with a bunch of other people? Especially some of the more messy eaters like Hotsuma, who just stuffed his face. A real shift from his partner, Shusei, that ate very little.

In the demon realm, we never shared meals socially like this. In fact, we never even went near each other unless we had to work together or had to have some sort of meeting with the Demon Lord and the other Opasts. A lonely existance.  
'Lonely'. How funny, I had never even considered the word as anything more than an excuse to be pathetic before I met Yuki; it was almost terrorfying how alone I felt without Yuki near me. 'Felt'. Another funny thing. Demons didn't feel emotions. We merely desired and then took whatever we wanted, running on nothing more than an instinct to dominate. Yuki had changed that about me as well.  
I could only shudder at the fear that consumed me when I thought of who I'd be had I never met my beloved.

"Goodnight everyone. See you tomorrow." Yuki's voice drew me out of my thoughts. His lovely voice never ceased to focus my attention solely on him. He offered his hand to me, letting me hold it as we exited to room, bound for bed. "Are you sleeping with me tonight, Luka?" It was amusing that he still asked at this point; I had given up my room, accepting Yuki's room as my domain once more.

"If you'll allow." The answer I almost always offered him to this question. He smiled, then walked into his bathroom to change into his night clothes. I sat on the edge of the bed, taking off my boots and other things that I didn't want disturbing Yuki's rest.

"Are you comfortable in that?" Yuki inquired as he circled the bed, climbing in on the other side, and gazing at me curiously.

"It's fine." I nodded, watching my beloved lie down, covering himself up with the blankets.

"Goodnight Luka. I love you." God's Light said softly, taking my hand, his eyes inviting me to lie with him.

I took his invitation with pleasure, sliding under the blankets, wrapping my arm around him, and pulling him close to me, "Sleep well, my love." I murmured, kissing the back of his neck.  
I settled myself, breathing in his scent, adoring it as much as I loved the rest of him. It was a truly wonderful smell, soft and undertoned, sweet like peaches and cream.  
I noticed Yuki trembling, was he cold? "Yuki?" I brushed my hand against his hip, to which he whimpered, "Are you cold?" ...He wasn't cold. I knew well enough what was making him shiver, his scent had become more potent, a tell-tale for arousal.

"S-sorry Luka...but your touch..." He shivered, curling his body up.

"I'll take care of you." I murmured into his neck, sliding my hand down the front of his pelvice, and softly rubbing the front of his erection. He whimpered, allowing me carefully slide his clothes off, kissing the back of his neck and lilthe shoulders, while slowly pumping his member.

He moaned my name, then grabbed my wrist, "Your face...I want to look at you, please...please..." I could never resist that request, especially since his voice was a sexy, blissful beg. I moved, turning him over onto his back, and looking down at him. "Luka..." He repeated, reaching up to me with both arms. I leaned down, capturing his lips gently with mine, allowing his arms to wrap around my neck. I continued stroking his length, cupping his sack, to which he shuddered, still moaning out my name.

I had avoided taking him completely since we had once again become lovers, I didn't want to hurt him, epecially when the bedroom was supposed to be an absolute safe-haven where he'd never have to experience pain. However he was insistent upon us being connected intimately, and if it was his wish, I'd make it happen. I was an expert at waiting, and it served me well, especially in this way.

And it paid off. I had already teased him as much as he could bear: his nipples hard, hipbones touched with light kiss-marks, member erect, insides wet and slick, hands digging into my skull with demand for his release. "Relax Yuki." I murmured, urging his hips up so I could slide in with one stroke and hit his sweet-spot; this way the pain would be overcome by the pleasure.

"Trying..." He whimpered. I could tell he was, and there was just enough easing in his body for me to thurst into him. He let out a cry, body clenching around me as I hit his sweet-spot. Finally, finally I was connected with him in every way, which made all my waiting worth it. He came, his body lying limp as he panted, my name whispering out in between each breath. I debated with myself over the next action. Pull out and let Yuki rest now OR ask Yuki to continue since, really, I wanted him to feel so much more. "Luka..." Yuki murmured softly, petting my hair. I met his eyes, surprised as he smiled at me, "we're finally connected."

"We are." I affirmed, kissing him softly. He let out a whimper into my mouth as I pushed forward to deepen the kiss, gripping my hair tightly. Well that solved it. He was getting aroused again, and that was certainly something he couldn't rest with; I had no problems with this turn of events, actually quite satistfied with it. I was going to enjoy showing Yuki how much I desired him, since I couldn't seem to put it into words often enough.

Thank you God. Thank you for this moment, for this night. I guess, plain out, thank you for Yuki, and letting me meet this wonderful soul- I would cherish it until the end of time. My unfailing promise.

The End! :)

Author's Note: Well, who doesn't like a follow-up story, right? (and some smut too) :D And I figured, we need to see what Luka's thoughts are anyway! Hope it was enjoyable! Thanks for reading! Please review!


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